We all figured that Call of Duty 2's multiplayer was broken (at least prior to the patch) but who knew it was Brokeback—in juvenile "pwned" sort of way? I think this "music video" was made using the PC version, but there's no way I could deprive 360 fanboys of such a groundbreaking cultural statement. Given the homoerotic theme, the guy in the flaming truck is a nice touch.

An update to Sega's seminal Phantasy Star series has been announced: Phantasy Star Universe. The title will be released on multiple platforms, including the PlayStation 2, PC, and--notably--the Xbox 360. With full Xbox Live support, Sega of America's VP of marketing says, "gamers can enjoy a fantasy role-playing experience of unprecedented depth both online with their friends, and offline in the robust single-player game."

While the PS2 version will undoubtedly prove very popular, the integration of Xbox Live in the 360 release will provide the seamless experience that the ambitious Phantasy Star Online never quite accomplished on it's various platforms, including on the Dreamcast. Like that title, it will have "two complete RPG experiences": a 40-hour single-player action adventure, and an online multiplayer component supporting up to six players.

Phantasy Star Universe is scheduled for release this Fall, offering the Xbox 360 another strategic weapon in the upcoming holiday console wars.

My brother the starving actor sent me this SAG casting call for a gaming related Verizon DSL commercial. They're looking for a "genuine cyber-athlete" who is highly ranked at PC or Xbox online role playing games and happens to be an African-American male. Here's the notice in its entirety in case any of our readers fit the bill:

Monday, Mar. 27, 2006, 1:07 PM PacificVERIZON DSL BROADBAND
Commercial
TELEVISION COMMERCIAL PRINT
SAG

 Casting: Thursday, 3/30 and one day of the first week of April TBD
TV Shoots: w/o 4/24 (4/24, 4/25 & 4/26)
Print Shoots: o/a 4/20 or 4/21
Location: NY area
Usage: National Network, Cable, Internet,  Possibly Spot TV and Industrial
Print: $5,000 buyout: All forms of Print including POP and OOH and for any
publicity purposes. Territory: Worldwide. Usage: Perpetuity.
 
SEEKING:  AFRICAN AMERICAN MALE
20's. We're looking for an amazing (tournament level or High Ranking gamer, depending on what game) who plays online interactive role-playing game from their computer or gaming unit (could be from system such as XBOX or from their home PC), using a Verizon DSL broadband connection (**Note: Only looking for a great gamer that plays interactively with other people over their broadband connection, not just plays the game itself). Ideally this person will live in a NY accessible area (NY, Philly, Washington D.C., Norfolk VA, Baltimore) but if the perfect person with national rankings doesn't live in one of these areas then still feel free to submit 'cause we're looking for the best people. Again this person must have, and if chosen will need to provide, proof by showing past Verizon DSL broadband bills with a drivers license matching the address (not necessary to show proof in the initial submission). We're looking for a genuine, real cyber-athlete who loves these types of interactive online games and has a track record to prove it (tournaments, rankings, etc). We're NOT looking for the occasional gamer - only serious!

Since the gaming industry has made a fortune off of offensive racial stereotypes, I suppose we should note this opportunity for an African-American gamer as a step forward for diversity. It goes 1% of the way towards making up for 50 Cent: Bulletproof.

Meet Brad. Or maybe you already have. Brad is a self-professed "master baiter" who pipes soundboards into his Live headset and tortures Halo opponents with expertly managed clips of Dr. Phil and Mr. Rogers, often to hilariously profane effect. Brad obviously takes pride in his craft. His website is an aural monument to both creative trash talk and the good doctor's "stern barnyard logic."

Judging by the highly Oedipal feedback from Brad's many victims, a certain percentage of the Live community has unresolved issues with mothers, sexuality and racial harmony, not to mention an inability to turn down the volume. Faux Phil's natural talent for aggravation extends to packing his site with references to to mesothelioma and laser hair removal in an attempt to attract high-value Google key words. That's annoying. Some gamers might be put off by this jerk's antics, but I think anyone who can engineer a cogent conversation between Mr. Rogers and an enraged hillbilly deserves an award.

Like a helpful jerk, Brad's FAQ offers tips on using your own soundboards. It's only a matter of time before his slow-witted marks start fighting back. By the time Halo 3 rolls around, the Live experience could sound  like an on-going argument between PeeWee and Gunnery Sgt. Hartman.

[Sidenote: None of this stuff qualifies as safe for kids or work]